At the beginning of this month I was standing silent after a time of worship during a Women’s Conference waiting on some encouraging word from God. What did I feel like He spoke to me? This simple sentence, “You are not enough”. Just thirty minutes prior I had checked in with my husband to see how he was faring at home with the kids and after our brief conversation I wondered if I should have spent the night away at a Women’s Conference. “See”, I told myself “things go crazy when you are away. You should be at home.”. This, never being away, a dear friend helped me understand was impossible. She actually had to ask me if my plan was to never leave the house again. I, actually had to think about my reply!
At first, the thought that I am not enough is disappointing. I thought I am doing the best I can and it’s not enough. That is utterly deflating. But then I understood what the Father was trying to get me to see. It is highly arrogant for me to really believe that I am the glue that is holding my family together. It’s hard not to feel that way but it’s not true. So many of the things that I make myself responsible for, in reality, I am not. This is joyously liberating! I cannot do or be enough to single-handedly carry the burden of disciplining my children; managing our finances; nurturing the family physically, spiritually and emotionally; cultivating a strong marriage; serving the Lord in our community; overseeing our kids’ educations; etc… In all these areas I have a responsibility but in all these things we also are not alone. Many of us have loving and helpful spouses that will help us bear the load(if we let them, i.e. don’t always rush home) and more than that we have a loving Father that longs to be present in every moment of life with us and bear our burdens.
In times when I have felt so overwhelmed it is usually because I have fooled myself into thinking that I alone am responsible for some thing, some person, some outcome or solution. When I have taken a step back I see that in myself I don’t really have the ability to “make things right”. And the pressure and stress that I am feeling is self-imposed. This is the moment when I can accept a divine invitation to rest. Two scripture passages come to mind:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”- Matt. 11:28-30
“…God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”- 1Pet 5:5b-7
When I am humble enough to know that I cannot bear the burdens of my life without God’s divine help His continual rest is available to me. I don’t have to worry or stress just do my best and rest in His unfailingly capable hands.