I am sitting here reading what is essentially a rejection letter for “the parents of” my own preschool aged child. In a situation where my child could have been “chosen” or “not” it is hard to read that she was “not”! I told God before we started the application process that I was putting the school situation in His hands, and that I knew that He knew best, and that I trusted Him to order our steps. As I read the letter I reminded myself of this as I tore it in half and threw it away. Although I believe in God’s complete goodness, this… did not feel so good.
So before going down into the spiral of emotions, I asked myself why. Why did I feel sick to my stomach? Why were my eyes stinging a bit? What did I think this letter changed about us? Did it mean my daughter was not genius level smart? Certainly not! Did it mean that I didn’t prepare her well enough? I’m not sure what that even looks like. Did it mean she is doomed to a life of mediocrity? Uhhh, no! Well, what was it?! Could it be that this isn’t going like I had scripted it in my head? Could it be that this was not what “God is on our side” looks like to me? I think I am getting closer to home.
It seems everything I’ve read this week has referenced Abraham and the blessings that come to those who have faith and wait on the Lord. When I think of faith I always think of miracles. People believing God for the seemingly impossible. But this is not what the Bible says about faith; Hebrews 11:1 says:
“…faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”.
Well, I was hoping that my daughter would get into a magnet school, but the Word of God has not promised me this. What I can be certain of is this, Psalm 139:16-17:
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
He knew her before I knew her and loves her now so much better than me. He has good plans for her to prosper her and to giver her a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). These verses have encouraged me so many times but sometimes it’s hard to have faith for your children. We want to wrangle and control situations instead of turning them over to the only One fit to conduct our lives. I am not sure of anything that requires more faith than parenting. I think even the most confident of people shake in their boots at the sheer overwhelming responsibility of taking care of a person from birth until adulthood. Then there is the issue of doing it well, and intentionally and in a Christlike manner. When you think about it, parenting really takes a miracle. So daily as you put your faith in Him, God is working a miracle through you!