So I don’t know what has got me thinking about this again but here I sit thinking about my listening skills (or lack there of). It’s not that I don’t hear you. I know what you’ve said and can recall it back to you word for word, days even years later. A gift that my husband and children are not so fond of, but I digress. The problem is that I don’t know if I am always present with the person who is talking. Often something they’ve said leads me on some mental bunny trail or I am just so excited about my response to whatever they’ve said that I am already a million miles away to my next anecdote.
When we were dating my husband also found out that I can participate in and listen to more than one conversation at once. Most women can do this, right? We’d be sitting in our booth in a restaurant talking and as soon as there was a break in our conversation I’d say something about the conversation next to or behind us. This, I do understand is rude and technically eaves dropping but I am not doing it on purpose. They are just talking so loud!
I am also, with people whom I am very familiar, an interrupter. I know, I know this is the worst. EVERYONE, myself included, hates this. As soon as it happens, I make an inward vow to never do this again unless someone’s hair is on fire (which has happened in my presence). Some part of me turns into a overly excited puppy that is jumping up and down and can’t wait to ‘say my part’! Totally and completely obnoxious.
I have been trying to figure out how to be more sensitive(not my strong suit) and tuned in to people and their needs and it all has to start with listening. Really, listening. Putting myself completely inside what is being said to me while it’s being said and until the speaker is wholly and absolutely finished. Why is this sometimes difficult? It seems that any decent person could do this but I guess that’s why it’s called a skill. Skills can be honed so that gives me hope. I can do this. I will be a better listener this year.
Okay, now here is the real challenge. I am going to start honing these skills at home. Do you know how much children talk? Often these important little people turn into background noise the more things they say. We miss so much by just yeah, yeahing them. I think humility is the key. What someone else has to say has to be at least as important or if not more than what I have to say no matter who they are, even little people. The opposite of this is of course arrogance and nobody wants that!